Only in Nairobi can a barber’s clippers cut deeper than the Central Bank. Today, the city’s courts hosted John Jebose, a flamboyant barber accused of taking the phrase “clean shave” a little too literally by allegedly shaving Sh450,000 off one unsuspecting client’s wallet.
Dragged before Chief Magistrate Rhodah Yator, Jebose stood in the dock, pled not guilty, and walked out after posting a neat Sh100,000 cash bail or, for the thrifty, a Sh200,000 bond option. Because nothing screams justice quite like “pay a fraction of what you stole and go home.”
According to the charge sheet, between August 18 and September 1, 2025, Jebose convinced Josephine Dama Karisa that he could deliver “professional barber services” at her shop. Instead, prosecutors say, he delivered the oldest Kenyan haircut trick: the financial buzz cut.
His lawyer, with a straight face only Nairobi lawyers can muster, begged the court for leniency, describing his client as a “young Kenyan of humble means” who “has a place of abode.” Translation: “He’s broke, but at least you know where to find him when he bolts.”
The state didn’t oppose bail, perhaps figuring that a man who can dream up a Sh450,000 haircut deserves points for creativity. Meanwhile, Karisa is left counting her losses, presumably wondering if her salon chairs are secretly made of gold.
The case will be mentioned on September 24 for pre-trial directions giving Jebose a few more weeks of freedom to sharpen his razors, polish his shoes, and maybe brainstorm how to rebrand himself as a “consultant in advanced financial grooming.”
